Wednesday, December 31, 2008

1993

Wasted and weathered
The desert promises
Filth

There is a cash cow
Just sell your soul
Pop trunk and you’ll find it
Hiding

Eyes of youth are clouding
Pain-induced glaucoma
Even they won’t see the mistake
Repeating

Some will stretch
Toward the border
Never breaking
Free






(December 17th)

2 comments:

Kris said...

Not sure if this poem is about Las Vegas or not, but that's what I imagine. I like it. My only thought is that is this particular case? I would suggest dropping the use of different fonts and bold/italics.

For me, this poem would be stronger if it just was.

It needs no fancying up.

Ooooh . . . that's what it is! The bolds and italics and font changes make a very masculine poem seem feminine. It's distracting.

The poem itself?

I like it.

Jayne said...

Not Vegas, but a desert most definitely...

Thank you for your opinion about the italics/bolds!

I actually added that as an afterthought right before I linked it to you, and then very quickly regretted it.

I agree. It fancies it up, and this piece was anything but fancy.

I'm going to take those out now...